I wish I knew who authored this email Clarence Page of the Chicago Tribune, so as to give him attribution for his cleverness. This email was apparently send to Mr. Page after an article he published concerning a name change for the Washington Redskins.
Dear Mr. Page: I agree with our Native American population. I am
highly jilted by the racially charged name of the Washington Redskins.
One might argue that to name a professional football team after Native
Americans would exalt them as fine warriors, but nay, nay. We must be
careful not to offend, and in the spirit of political correctness and
courtesy, we must move forward.
Let’s ditch the Kansas City Chiefs, the Atlanta Braves and the
Cleveland Indians. If your shorts are in a wad because of the
reference the name Redskins makes to skin color, then we need to get
rid of the Cleveland Browns.
The Carolina Panthers obviously were named to keep the memory of
militant Blacks from the 60’s alive. Gone. It’s offensive to us white
The New York Yankees offend the Southern population. Do you see a
team named for the Confederacy? No! There is no room for any reference
to that tragic war that cost this country so many young men’s lives. I
am also offended by the blatant references to the Catholic religion
among our sports team names. Totally inappropriate to have the New
Orleans Saints, the Los Angeles Angels or the San Diego Padres.
Then there are the team names that glorify criminals who raped and
pillaged. We are talking about the horrible Oakland Raiders, the
Minnesota Vikings, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Pittsburgh
Now, let us address those teams that clearly send the wrong message
to our children. The San Diego Chargers promote irresponsible fighting
or even spending habits. Wrong message to our children.
The New York Giants and the San Francisco Giants promote obesity, a
growing childhood epidemic. Wrong message to our children. The
Cincinnati Reds promote downers/barbiturates. Wrong message to our
The Milwaukee Brewers. Well that goes without saying. Wrong message
to our children.
So, there you go. We need to support any legislation that comes out
to rectify this travesty, because the government will likely become
involved with this issue, as they should. Just the kind of thing the
do-nothing Congress loves.
As a die-hard Oregon State fan, my wife and I, with all of this in
mind, suggest it might also make some sense to change the name of the
Oregon State women’s athletic teams to something other than “the
Beavers (especially when they play Southern California. Do we really
want the Trojans sticking it to the Beavers???
I always love your articles and I generally agree with them. As for
the Redskins name I would suggest they change the name to the
“Foreskins” to better represent their community, paying tribute to the
dick heads in Washington DC.
“Drop the mic, wouldn’t you say?”